Monday, April 25, 2011

Deep breaths, Melanie.

This morning we got up and went to swimming lessons. We were in a hurry to get out the door, because I am no good at mornings, and am always running late. So we hurried into the car. We got to the rec center, and we hurried out of the car. After lessons, we all got loaded up again then went to the church so I could play volleyball. I carried in my baby in her carrier, diaper bag, court shoes, and knee pads. After playing, I got everything and everybody back in the car. My last step was putting my shoes and knee pads in the trunk. I closed the trunk and started to make my way to my door.
Then I saw something on my car that shouldn't have been there.
On the side of the car, in the back, was an elaborate scribble scratched into the paint. What?! My first thought was, "Oh, Morgan, you are in SOOOOO much trouble."
Then I noticed that the scribble had a rather long tail. It went over both left-hand-side doors, and continued. It made it's way to the hood, where the scratch got especially deep. All across the hood and around to the other side. The other side had fainter scratchings, another squiggle on the passenger door, then kind of tapered off near the trunk.
My pretty new car appeared to have been keyed. And I was not happy.
It seemed that while I was in the parking lot of the church, my car was vandalized. I didn't notice any scratches before, and they are pretty noticeable. So I thought about the people who play volleyball. Some may not like me especially well, more probably cringe when I end up on their team, but I don't think any are malicious enough to key my car. Alright, so, a random punk drove into the church parking lot, picked one car, and defaced it. But left the purse that was sitting on the seat in the unlocked vehicle...
Okay, so it happened at the rec center. Maybe I inadvertently stole a parking spot, or somehow made someone mad while driving, and they were getting even with me. And...they left my purse on the front seat in my unlocked car... (yeah, I know, bad practice.)
The more I thought about it, the more I saw the patterns on the car, the more I thought that this was the work of a naughty child.
Yesterday, Morgan and his cousins played outside unsupervised. Lately they have been getting into things they shouldn't. When the cousins play, messes are made, things are broken, mischievousness ensues.
While still at the church, I had Morgan get out of the car so he could see the handy-work, and I asked him about it. He denied vehemently having anything to do with it.
Running errands this evening, I asked him again about it. He immediately pointed the finger at his cousin Kaien.
Here's how the conversation went.
Me: Do you know what happened to my car?
Morgan: Kaien drew on it with the thing that makes white.
Me: Kaien did it? How do you know?
Morgan: Because he drew on it.
Me: What did he draw with?
Morgan: I used the thing that looks like a battery.
Me: You used a thing that looks like a battery?
Morgan: No, Kaien did.
Me: Morgan, how do you know?
Morgan: Because he did it.
Me: Did you see him do it?
Morgan: No, I wasn't there.
Me: Morgan, then how would you know if he did it?
Morgan: I mean, Emmy did it.
Me: Did you see her do it?
Morgan: No.
Me: Morgan, you can't say someone did something, if you didn't see it happen. Then it's like lying. You need to always tell the truth.
(We've had a lot of discussions about telling the truth lately. Morgan has had trouble with the important principle.)
Morgan: I did it.
Me: You did it?
Morgan: That's the truth. I drew on it. I'm not lying.
Then he gave details. It was the day Kaien and Emmy were over, and they were outside, and his cousins weren't near by, but he found something and drew white on the car.
Oh boy.
I was being calm and under control.
Me: You do know it is very very naughty, right? It is not okay to ever write on or scratch cars.
Morgan: I know. But I don't have to have a time out, because I told the truth, right Mommy?

And how do you handle that? He told the truth, which I thanked him for doing, and want to encourage, but for pete's sake, he scratched my entire car! The deed needs a consequence, does it not?
I remember once telling the truth about the scissors being left outside by me, and I got a spanking. Then I couldn't figure out why I told the truth.

So we talked about it, set new rules, (no kids allowed by the cars ever again!) and went on our way. No time out, no privileges revoked, no spanking, nothing. What am I supposed to do in a case like that?
I'm really upset about my car.


Quaero Veritas said...

Nice Morgan! Why do kids do that kind of thing? They know that it is wrong. For example. About 6 months ago we got a new computer monitor; one day Kaien decided to draw on it with pen! AAAHHH, why? He was in big trouble. I got it cleaned off mostly, but then the monitor went bad. So I had to trade it in and get a new one. A couple of days later Kaien did the same thing!!!! WHAT!!! WHY! Sheesh, I am at a loss to why he had this deep need to do draw on my monitors.

Then a couple weeks ago he cut the cord to my drill battery charger. He did this while in time out. Not the best use of time out time.

Smullin Family said...

Well it seems you got the calm part right..and that's a BIG part. Way to go Melanie!

Did he really do it? Like was his story convincing enough and was it at the right height and everything? Kids.