Things are going pretty well for my family. I guess. Well, they are. I suppose it depends on your perspective. :) My perspective is, we are happy, have our necessities provided for, and are together. We have the gospel of Jesus Christ, and what more do you need?
Back when I was actively trying to find a place to live that wasn't my parents' basement, everything kept falling through, or it didn't feel right, or something went wrong, or people wouldn't answer their phones. Now I believe that we were supposed to stay here a bit longer. It's a blessing, really. Money hasn't been coming in, due to unemployment, and tenants moving, etc., and I don't know if I would have been able to manage, had I moved out, even if I had a full-time job.
I know how it must look. I'm a mooch, right? I'm lazy, I live at home, don't have a job, my mom cooks my food, I'm just plain not motivated, right? Yeah, I got dealt a rotten hand, but you just gotta roll with it, and being a single mom means you go out and get a real job, right?
Well...usually? But I have to do what I think is best for my kids, and right now, I think that they would be most benefited by having a more available mommy. I've never wanted to be a working mother, and while I know that that is often necessary, I'm going to fight it. And right now, it makes sense to me to live at home, pay cheap rent, and be a full-time mom, part-time writer.
Not having a job has also allowed me to finish writing my next book. In fact, why didn't I write a blog post about that accomplishment? Yay, my next book is written! I'm in the editing stage, and you know, I'm really excited about this book. I read a lot of YA and Juvenile fiction, so I like to think I have a fairly good idea of what sorts of books sell, and are popular, and I honestly and truly believe that Skye Bloo can be very successful, given the right publisher and marketing. I don't usually like to toot my own horn, but this story is good. I feel like I was Divinely inspired while I thought of it, and wrote it. (Not that it's Spiritual in nature, just that it could be a blessing to me to allow me to stay home with my kids.)
In January, I'm going back to school. Just the Community College. I think I'm pretty close to my associates degree, and so I'll just get that, in generals, for now. I'm really excited about starting school. I'm going to take a creative writing class, communications, humanities, and Spanish 2. Oh, and also come January, I will be watching a couple kids 3 days a week.
I've started attending mid-singles activities. I'm younger than the 31 you're supposed to be, but I don't fit anywhere else. Plus, my bishop really wants me involved, (hence a mid-singles rep calling.) What I wasn't expecting was the male attention. Like, I have it. I have never ever been one to attract males, but I feel very noticed at the few functions I've gone to. I kinda like it. :) However, when the person noticing looks older than my dad, I'm not too hip on the attention.
I've been thinking a lot lately, about my past year. I feel like I've come a long way. Last year I was angry, bitter, and very cynical. I was also fairly certain that all men were scum. This year I have a new appreciation for the Atonement, because of the blessing of forgiveness, because of the blessing of peace, because of the blessing of happiness. Oh, and I'm thinking now that only the majority of men are scum, but not all. :)
I'm optimistic for my future. I don't know what it will hold, but it will be okay, no matter what. Because of the Atonement. I will be more educated, I will be more confident, I will choose to be happy. My kids will be with me, and I will do what I can and make the sacrifices I need to, in order to be the best, most available, Mom that I can be.
And thus ends my soliloquy.
1 week ago