Everyone HATES me!! :)

Sunday, journal day.

Oct. 17, 2001
"Dear Journal, I give up. Okay, no I don’t, but I’m stuck with no where to turn it seems… Want to know what I’m stressed about? Well, I’m pregnant. How should I tell my parents? . . . Okay, you got me. I’m not pregnant. I’ve never even kissed a guy, held ones hand. I don’t think I’ve even been alone with a creature of the male gender other then family members. Or my cat."
I wasn't fooled even for a second when I read this. :) However, this was something that my cousin taught me. When you need to get your parents permission about something, or when you have something unpleasant you have to tell them, start with a little joke. Mom, I'm pregnant....just kidding! Can I have some money to go to the movies? Apparently it worked for him, my cousin, though he never said he was pregnant, but that he got a girl pregnant. :)

Oct. 21, 2001
This is a doozy. And I edited A LOT. This was two pages of self-beratement.
"Dear Journal. I hate being me. I’m so stupid!
I hate me, because I’m a immature chicken. I’m a loner. You’d think you would fit in at church. I don’t. I’m so lame, it’s embarrassing. Today in Sunday School, there was a long row. Everyone that was in our class was in that row. About 12. Everyone was in that row, but me. There was no room for me anyway. I sat behind that row, off to the side all by myself. If any future kids of mine, (if I’m ever mature and brave enouph to marry) your mom is a lame loner. Nobody likes me. You know why? Cause no one knows me enough to decide whether I’m likeable or not. I’m invisible. Once, I was in Sunday School about a year-year ½ ago. Jarvis Swenson was taking role. He came to my name. “Melanie Martin? Who’s Melanie Martin?” I’d been in that class for at least a year, and he didn’t even know who I was.
Who would ever marry me? Sorry hubby, but what were you thinking. Unless I actually got brave enough to change my stupid self into a noticeable human being, what were you thinking?"
Bah, what do you say? Being shy can sometimes really lollie. (Lollie- the word my brothers use as a substitution for the word they mean to say, but would get them in trouble. It starts with S and ends in uck.)