As is my blogging tradition, I will chronicle the past year with a top ten list. But mostly bottom ten. 2009 was bad. 2010; worse.
1. Though it was actually in the very last days of 2009, I will include it in my 2010 list. A couple days after Christmas, I learned that I was pregnant. I tried hard not to get my hopes up too much, since the past two pregnancies were miscarried, but I was happy to have the news.
2. The happy glow of learning I was pregnant lasted for 1-2 weeks. Early in January I discovered some things that devastated, and made the pregnancy feel like horrible timing. After much thought and prayer, I took my little boy and moved back to my parents house for an undetermined amount of time.
3. While living in my old bedroom again, I had a horrible gallbladder attack. I didn't know that was what it was, but after a trip to quick care and then an ultra-sound, I was told the pain was caused by sludge in my gallbladder. During the ultra-sound, I also got to peak at my 10 week old baby growing in my womb. There was a definite heartbeat.
4. At the end of March I moved back to Dugway. I had high hopes that things would work out for the best and was determined to do all in my power to make it so.
5. In May we went on a Cruise to the Caribbean. This was my dream vacation. It was fun, I got to see a lot of cool places and do a lot of fun things. But part of the dream of that vacation was spoiled due to the fact that my marriage was already on another downward spiral.
6. June-July brought the annual Martin camp out. It was great being with family and being camping. A great tradition.
7. My beautiful Lydia was born in September. She and Morgan are my constant bright spot among all the blackness. I'm sure some people look at her birth as horrible timing, bad planning, a cruel irony... But I know she is a blessing. I will always count her as a blessing.
8. In November I moved back with my parents. This time is also for an undetermined amount of time, but when I leave, it will be to a small apartment here in Nampa, with just me and my kids.
9. The added stress of everything brought on more gallbladder attacks from November to December. One chased me to the ER. (Whimp!)
10. And lastly, my gallbladder was removed on Dec. 27th. I'm still recovering from that. A hernia was also repaired. And though it's hard to tell, since there is still the suture tape stuff on my incisions, (all five) it kind of looks like I don't have a belly button anymore. Wha?! But seriously. I'm worried.
If I went to Hell because of being a horrible person, I would just relive this year over and over. That would be my eternal punishment, my fire and brimstone, my damnation.
Good riddance, 2010.